Reaction. Response. And the “Gap”

In golf (and life), we are constantly responding to stimuli (reaction) and making choices (response). Negative stimuli evoke negative reactions. But…negative reactions don’t have to become negative responses. Let’s briefly see how.

We have a bad tee shot, a bad hole, three bad holes. We feel anger, frustration, sadness, depression, anxiety, loss of focus, and any number of other valid but not necessarily helpful feelings for growth and progress. All too often, I see students lock onto these reactions and let them become their response. Ex. Aggressive targets, swinging harder, inconsistent tempo, giving up mentally, and cursing the game of golf.

In these instances, I tell my students: “Take 15 seconds to be upset, then let it go and move on”. Pout, vent, do what you need to do but then it’s a mental reset. For Ted Lasso fans, “Be curious, not judgmental” about what happened as you walk to your next shot. Extract as much insight as you can from every situation. Rather than a four-letter expletive, try saying “That’s interesting…”. A bad outcome can’t be changed but you can ask yourself what went wrong, make an adjustment, and correct for the next time. In many cases, the situation is highly manageable but we get so lost in negative emotion we can’t see anything but failure and self-loathing. Not only did we have a poor performance, we also didn’t learn anything.

The point is this, all experiences produce a reaction and require a response. Good or bad, spend time consciously giving yourself a “Gap” before you respond to internalize the positive experiences and objectify the negative ones. Even just a few seconds gives you an incredible opportunity to remove the emotion and allow for learning and growth.